Finding new roots

Another 2 days and it'll be a new year. It hasn't been an easy 2009 for me. Heartaches... disappointments... struggles. One would think that's just part of life but what i went through, i think it was more than usual quota. Has the year been really that bad? Well.. yes and no.

I'm still ever so grateful for FQ & family moving back here. It's wonderful that she finally gets the opportunity to grow her cake business (which i was supposed to help but have not been doing much lately.. oops) and that her husband has gotten a good job here. Yes yes... am 'tumpang-ing glamour' but really... am VERY VERY happy that they're back HERE!!

And yes, i'm also grateful for Tsing roping me in to do all sorts of 'personal' projects... just because. I may complain (a LOT.. hehehe) but it hasn't stopped me from agreeing to do it. The 'sucker' in me probably thrives on the challenge and the little victories when it's done. :)

Had it not been for these people, i would probably be wallowing in the mundane. Most times, i have been prophet of my own doom. I allow myself to think i'm not good enough... that what i have is as good as it gets.

Perhaps the biggest (and hardest) decision i made this year was to change jobs. It wasn't an easy thing to do. After 6 years of being in the same agency, one becomes complacent. Things become almost predictable and we start to live in our 'comfort zone'. Taking on this new job was a huge step for me... and not without a lot of mixed emotions. Yet, it was something which was 'necessary' to grow. :)

So as we come to a close for 2009 and look forward to the next year, here's wishing that 2010 will be a greater year and bigger things will spring forth!

Giving back

Life's lessons are never easy. One would think that as we grow older, we should be wiser. And through experience, we learn how to avoid making the same mistakes again. Yet the one thing i keep doing, is believing that if i did enough, i would be duly rewarded. That by putting others before me, they would also pay it forward and this world would be a less selfish place.

I'm not being bitter here. But in the past months, it has become so evident that it's me giving.. and giving even more... and the more i try, more is demanded. Appreciation is little and accusations aplenty. By trying to be objective... to be understanding... i lost myself again. A dear friend pointed out that most times, i already have the answers, yet i still ask questions to seek assurance. Perhaps it's time to remember who matters most.

Love after Love by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

It's the little things...

It was a small cosy corner just near the bar. It was small plates of tapas. It was a small gathering of 6. Even the cake was tiny. But it was the biggest thing anyone could've done for me. Save for a few friends whom i wished could've been there that nite, it was the most awesome celebration a girl could have.

Thank you ALL for being there with me...
... and an EXTRA BIG slobbery kiss to FQ for being crazy enough to make the cake for me!! *HUGS*

Pretty pleased.. with icing on top

I've been neglecting this space again. Not because i want to but there's just been too many things going on for me to sit and write a proper post. And probably, this will not be one either.

Since FQ moved back more than 3 months ago, i've been spending a lot of time catching up. Despite keeping in touch throughout the 10 odd years she's been away, there's nothing like having your best friend back here again.. just down the road. Literally! ;D So much has happened, so much has changed... yet at the same time, it seems as though so much still remains the same. I guess that's what friendship is all about.

And over the past month or so, we've been spending MORE time together than usual (if that's even possible since we already talk/see each other every day :P). Through our love for baking and by someone's request, we started making cupcakes. What started as a small ad hoc 'sale' here and there have somewhat grown into a little business. Within a short space of over a month, we are now getting a steady stream of weekly orders from various people.

It's hilarious when FQ's husband commented that all he hears every day from both of us is "cup.. cup.. cup cup... cup.. cup cupcup...". Hahaha... Even Csu has gotten excited over this venture and started helping us whenever she can. The camaderie over the time we spend measuring, baking, decorating, etc is really amazing. It's also encouraging to have support & good reviews from so many people. We're even starting to have orders for weddings. Woohoo!!

Pardon the pun.. but i think i can safely say that this is sugar... spice... and everything nice. ;)

Celebrate TODAY

My parents used to tell me that when i was a little girl, i loved birthdays. Because of that, my Mum would bake a cake every day just so everyone could sing 'Happy Birthday' and let me blow out the candles. The next day, i would want to do it all over again. ;P Mind you, i didn't want to eat the cake, i only wanted to cut it. Hehehe...

If you ask me now, i have vague recollections of those times. Back then, in my simplistic way, i suppose it's not so much of the cake but what it 'brought' - the celebratory mood... loved ones around me... the happy feelings.

Today, (unfortunately) most of us would decline the offer for cakes/desserts. Reasons = Too much sugar.. too much cream.. too many calories... etc. In many ways, i think we have become so caught up with these that we forget to take little moments to pamper ourselves and indulge a little. Ooh.. am i being a devil's advocate here? Hehehe...

Guess what i'm trying to say is.. don't forget to celebrate 'LIFE'. In the midst of whatever that's gloomy, remember the things that made you smile. And yes, go on.. have a cake if it makes you happy....


and forget the calories. (You can always work it off tomorrow... ;P)