It's officially the last day of the year. I remember starting the year full of uncertainties, wondering if i could be strong enough on my own... still reeling from the disappointments of the year before.
Looking back, i realized i was never alone. Throughout the year, i have been blessed with different ones being there for me. Some were there only for that moment and some... are crazy enough to still stick around and put up with my neuroses. ;P I'm thankful for encouraging words along the way and even more... the unspoken understanding & silent presence when i needed it the most.
Now, as i look to tomorrow, i know it would not be an easy road ahead but for certain, the journey will be better with friends by our side. So as we celebrate the coming new year, once again, i hope i have been that good a friend to you as you are to me. ;)
*hugs*
Wednesday, 31 December 2008
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
Snap, Crackle and Pop
For the longest time i've been telling myself that i needed a break.. a holiday. I came back from my trip, thinking that i would be refreshed... rejuvenated... raring to go. Instead, from the day i stepped back till now, things have not been going as well as it ought to. It is like a dark cloud that's hanging over us and we have no idea how to make it go away.
Suddenly, it's as if we're been snapped at over little little things. Granted that it's not the best of times for everyone, but whatever frustrations there might be, it seemed as though nothing we did was right. Things are not 'good enough'. The 'way things are being done' is inappropriate. The 'explanations' fall on deaf ears. It's disheartening to see different ones being brushed off even though i felt they had tried their best to please. Perhaps what i fear is that these tiny cracks in their psyche (daily) will one day break their spirit and motivation to try any more. :(
Mind you, i've not been 'spared' from these either. It is a bitter pill to swallow but having a few good friends around help soften the blows. The 'yumcha' and impromptu off-key singing session with M2 certainly lightened things up. (Gawd.. i better hide the video Ken took of us). I'm glad Tsing accompanied me to Csu's bro's wedding (yes.. it's that long-winded). And yeah, it would've been a little unnerving for me to be there on my own... not because i can't... but being 'emotionally drained', having a friend by your side makes a whole lot of difference. I'm still laughing over the way Tsing and KY sang-along to Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. Hahahaha.... Think there were a few more Top of the Pops songs the band sang, which also set off a few more rounds of laughter.
Oh... did i mention that the band members wore wings and they're called 'Chinese Angels'?? Hehehehee........
Suddenly, it's as if we're been snapped at over little little things. Granted that it's not the best of times for everyone, but whatever frustrations there might be, it seemed as though nothing we did was right. Things are not 'good enough'. The 'way things are being done' is inappropriate. The 'explanations' fall on deaf ears. It's disheartening to see different ones being brushed off even though i felt they had tried their best to please. Perhaps what i fear is that these tiny cracks in their psyche (daily) will one day break their spirit and motivation to try any more. :(
Mind you, i've not been 'spared' from these either. It is a bitter pill to swallow but having a few good friends around help soften the blows. The 'yumcha' and impromptu off-key singing session with M2 certainly lightened things up. (Gawd.. i better hide the video Ken took of us). I'm glad Tsing accompanied me to Csu's bro's wedding (yes.. it's that long-winded). And yeah, it would've been a little unnerving for me to be there on my own... not because i can't... but being 'emotionally drained', having a friend by your side makes a whole lot of difference. I'm still laughing over the way Tsing and KY sang-along to Wham's Wake Me Up Before You Go Go. Hahahaha.... Think there were a few more Top of the Pops songs the band sang, which also set off a few more rounds of laughter.
Oh... did i mention that the band members wore wings and they're called 'Chinese Angels'?? Hehehehee........
Monday, 17 November 2008
Capturing a thousand words... and a few more
I've tried to write a post about my trip to Shanghai a dozen times, yet i'm still stuck. What else can i say about it that i've not already told those who've asked me? It was my cousin's wedding/family holiday. We ate a LOT! The weather was foggy, hazy, rainy, gloomy, windy and finally... wonderful on the last day. :P The experience i had would be better told in person than on paper.... or in this case, online.
But, like all my other trips to various countries, there will always be 1 photo which captures the moment, stirs the emotion and creates the best memory (for me) of the place. This is my favourite shot, taken at the chrysanthemum field on the way to Zhejiang.
Now, before anyone says this is not 'chinese' enough (which i suspect some of you will), here's some, taken at WuZhen and West Lake, HangZhou.
And NO.... Shanghai is not all wooden houses & plantations. It's a very well developed and modern city. Just that i didn't get a chance to explore (or shop) much due to the rain. In fact, was very disappointed i didn't get to sit out at one of the cafes/bars in Xin Tian Di - reputed to be a very hip & happening place to hang out. So all i got was this pix ( and even so, while standing in the rain. Sigh!)
Right... i'm gonna stop here before i get emo for not being able to get better photos. If you think i've not said enough, well a picture paints a thousand words... and i have more than 1. ;P
But, like all my other trips to various countries, there will always be 1 photo which captures the moment, stirs the emotion and creates the best memory (for me) of the place. This is my favourite shot, taken at the chrysanthemum field on the way to Zhejiang.
Now, before anyone says this is not 'chinese' enough (which i suspect some of you will), here's some, taken at WuZhen and West Lake, HangZhou.
And NO.... Shanghai is not all wooden houses & plantations. It's a very well developed and modern city. Just that i didn't get a chance to explore (or shop) much due to the rain. In fact, was very disappointed i didn't get to sit out at one of the cafes/bars in Xin Tian Di - reputed to be a very hip & happening place to hang out. So all i got was this pix ( and even so, while standing in the rain. Sigh!)
Right... i'm gonna stop here before i get emo for not being able to get better photos. If you think i've not said enough, well a picture paints a thousand words... and i have more than 1. ;P
Thursday, 13 November 2008
A taste of Shanghai
My family often joked about how we live to eat more than we eat to live. Food has always been in abundance when it comes to dinners & get-togethers. But when we took a trip to Shanghai recently for my cousin's wedding, we were blown away by the number of dishes ordered by our hosts (the in-laws). At first we thought it was mere hospitality to us as guests, but later, we were told that this is the norm. *faints*
It would take too long a post to talk about ALL the food that we indulged in during our 1 week there. But to give you an idea, let me just show you what we had for our 1st dinner, which set the precedence for every day's lunch/dinner.
Be prepared to scroll down....
Roast pork slices
Cucumbers (sauce not shown)
Foie gras (goose liver)
Slightly salted fried fish
Preserved vege
Fruit salad
Another type of preserved vege (i think)
Sliced bitter gourd dipped in honey sauce (again, forgot to take pix of sauce)
Cold tofu in soy sauce
Prawns dipped in vinegar
Braised soya sauce pork & tofu
Steamed chicken with peanuts & bacon
Corn fried with salted egg yolk (am not a fan of corn but this was super yummy)
Braised pork belly slices with preserved vege & chinese cabbage
Lamb chops to die for ;D
Pig's stomach with bean sprouts (i think. Yeah, chinese eat the weirdest things)
Stewed chicken & pumpkin with rice cakes
Spicy steamed fish (don't be fooled by the colour. It was super spicy)
Fried glass noodles with seafood & caviar
Fried (unidentified) vege
Fried spinach with garlic
Radish soup
Baked hairy crab - highlight of the meal as the crabs are seasonal
Pan-fried dumplings with minced pork filling
Wine with every meal *hic*
It would take too long a post to talk about ALL the food that we indulged in during our 1 week there. But to give you an idea, let me just show you what we had for our 1st dinner, which set the precedence for every day's lunch/dinner.
Be prepared to scroll down....
Roast pork slices
Cucumbers (sauce not shown)
Foie gras (goose liver)
Slightly salted fried fish
Preserved vege
Fruit salad
Another type of preserved vege (i think)
Sliced bitter gourd dipped in honey sauce (again, forgot to take pix of sauce)
Cold tofu in soy sauce
Prawns dipped in vinegar
Braised soya sauce pork & tofu
Steamed chicken with peanuts & bacon
Corn fried with salted egg yolk (am not a fan of corn but this was super yummy)
Braised pork belly slices with preserved vege & chinese cabbage
Lamb chops to die for ;D
Pig's stomach with bean sprouts (i think. Yeah, chinese eat the weirdest things)
Stewed chicken & pumpkin with rice cakes
Spicy steamed fish (don't be fooled by the colour. It was super spicy)
Fried glass noodles with seafood & caviar
Fried (unidentified) vege
Fried spinach with garlic
Radish soup
Baked hairy crab - highlight of the meal as the crabs are seasonal
Pan-fried dumplings with minced pork filling
Wine with every meal *hic*Now if you've not collapsed from scrolling down, i have... from doing this post. *phew* Must've put on a few tons from my trip. So maybe if i can summon enough energy to move my lazy @$$, i'll do another post about the trip. Till then... *burp*
Thursday, 30 October 2008
In a nutshell
If there's one thing i don't understand.. it's humans. Once again, i've been pissed off by people and their attitudes. So while there are campaigns about Saving Our Earth... the only thing i've been doing is recycling complaints.
I've not been 'going green' but rather, blue in the face trying to hold my breath before i explode with annoyance. Perhaps the one thing i've done that is (to me) 'environmentally-friendly' is to not go berserk and lash out at 'innocent' ones who cross my short-circuited path.
I've been trying to reduce socializing with as many toxic people as possible so that i don't get sucked in to the same pessimism. Mind you, it's not as easy as it seems when you're perpetually surrounded by them. Sigh!
And if there's any phrase that i've been reusing, it's 'Let Go' - be it to myself or others. It's amazing how tightly we hold on to things which many a time, we don't even know what we're keeping it for.
Why are we so reluctant to give someone else a chance to prove their worth? Is there really a need to constantly assert your presence or make your voice louder? Are we afraid no one would notice or hear us? Perhaps we should spend more time focusing on building what we have than fearing what we don't.
Owww.. i think i need to find a shell to crawl under before i go nuts.
I've not been 'going green' but rather, blue in the face trying to hold my breath before i explode with annoyance. Perhaps the one thing i've done that is (to me) 'environmentally-friendly' is to not go berserk and lash out at 'innocent' ones who cross my short-circuited path.
I've been trying to reduce socializing with as many toxic people as possible so that i don't get sucked in to the same pessimism. Mind you, it's not as easy as it seems when you're perpetually surrounded by them. Sigh!
And if there's any phrase that i've been reusing, it's 'Let Go' - be it to myself or others. It's amazing how tightly we hold on to things which many a time, we don't even know what we're keeping it for.
Why are we so reluctant to give someone else a chance to prove their worth? Is there really a need to constantly assert your presence or make your voice louder? Are we afraid no one would notice or hear us? Perhaps we should spend more time focusing on building what we have than fearing what we don't.
Owww.. i think i need to find a shell to crawl under before i go nuts.
Friday, 10 October 2008
Lost and Found
Lately, coffee shop talks with friends have been somewhat 'depressing'. Seems to me that different ones have been disappointed/jaded/unmotivated and yet, we cannot pinpoint what the cause of it is. When i look at the date of my last blogpost, it made me realize that several weeks have passed me by and i have no recollection of what i've done.
Whatever happened to those times when we're able to look back and laugh at memories/moments? Have we allowed ourselves to merely exist... going through the same routine day in, day out? Have we lost all zeal for life? Did we 'deliberately' put ourselves in this rut, then claim we are victims of circumstances?
Whatever happened to those times when we're able to look back and laugh at memories/moments? Have we allowed ourselves to merely exist... going through the same routine day in, day out? Have we lost all zeal for life? Did we 'deliberately' put ourselves in this rut, then claim we are victims of circumstances?
Monday, 25 August 2008
Ex, Why, Zzz...
Last Saturday, i went over to Gin's place. Lih was down with her 2 kids for a visit so we decided to get together and have a cookout. We've all known each other more than 2/3 our lives and were laughing at how 'domestic' we've become - discussing the best place to buy fresh ingredients, how to cook this dish or that, how things have gone up in prices. In short, being total 'AUNTIES'. Hehehe...
On the same day, Siryn was at an event with her friend and they were to meet up with some other people. When they did, one of them turned out to be the guy i recently dated. Apparently Siryn's friend's 'friend' is the girl whom he had dropped me for. Obviously the girl had no idea that Siryn knew him. So while i was having fun catching with my ex-classmates on one side of town, on the other, my ex was squirming away... and maybe made even worse, when after the event, Siryn's friends suggested having drinks together.
Siryn was a little unsure of telling me of the encounter at first but when she did, i couldn't help but burst out laughing. Even FQ found it hilarious. I told them that i've already stopped asking myself Why. Things have happened. We've chosen our paths and there's no reason to question it any further. It's amusing though, to hear Siryn describe his expression as "a rabbit caught in headlights" when he first saw her and how uncomfortable he looked whenever she glanced his way. Hehehe...
I don't know what went through his mind then. But one thing i know for sure... I don't have to look back at what could've beens or fear over decisions i've made. More importantly, i know i can sleep at night knowing i've moved on without regrets. ;)
On the same day, Siryn was at an event with her friend and they were to meet up with some other people. When they did, one of them turned out to be the guy i recently dated. Apparently Siryn's friend's 'friend' is the girl whom he had dropped me for. Obviously the girl had no idea that Siryn knew him. So while i was having fun catching with my ex-classmates on one side of town, on the other, my ex was squirming away... and maybe made even worse, when after the event, Siryn's friends suggested having drinks together.
Siryn was a little unsure of telling me of the encounter at first but when she did, i couldn't help but burst out laughing. Even FQ found it hilarious. I told them that i've already stopped asking myself Why. Things have happened. We've chosen our paths and there's no reason to question it any further. It's amusing though, to hear Siryn describe his expression as "a rabbit caught in headlights" when he first saw her and how uncomfortable he looked whenever she glanced his way. Hehehe...
I don't know what went through his mind then. But one thing i know for sure... I don't have to look back at what could've beens or fear over decisions i've made. More importantly, i know i can sleep at night knowing i've moved on without regrets. ;)
Sunday, 3 August 2008
When words fail...
Every day, i cringe when i hear/read bad English... but this one really cracks me up.
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
~~o~~
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Spacing out
I have this weird love-hate relationship with birthdays... my own i mean. It's juz one of those things.
I dread the reminder of how 'old' i'm getting yet at the same time, glad i made it to this age.
I gripe about not being able to do this or that for my celebration, yet when suggestions come my way, i've already marked it as 'been there, done that, can open gift shop for the souvenirs i've collected'. :P
I get sms/calls/FB msgs from a whole bunch of people, yet feel disappointed with the one who didn't.
I'm proud of what i've achieved thus far, yet discontented when i think of others my age who've made it further.
The list goes on... and i often wonder why i struggle with this half-full half-empty syndrome. I always hope and think others deserve the best, and if i can, will make sure that they do. But when good things happen to me, after the initial elation.. i will get panic attacks. It's always the fear of 'Is this really happening? Was there a mistake?' and 'How long will this last before it gets taken away from me?'.
As i thought about this further, the one word that kept coming to mind is 'IMPERFECT'. Perhaps i have become my own prophet of doom. Setting ideals which seem unattainable. Frustrating myself when i don't reach it. Always thinking i'm 'just not good enough'.
AGAIN, i need a reminder to cut myself some slack. That it's (more often than not) ok when things don't turn out exactly the way i want/presume it to be. That this claustrophobic feeling i get is because i have been trying too hard to hold everything together. I need to let go and give myself room to breathe a little easier.
So while i sit here, mind orbiting into some strange galaxy (No.. not going bonkers.. yet. :P), it's becoming a little clearer now. Perhaps 'space' is what i need. Then maybe 'IMPERFECT' will slowly become 'I'M PERFECT'. ;D
Hmm... maybe being a year older has made me a little 'wiser' after all. Hahaha...
I dread the reminder of how 'old' i'm getting yet at the same time, glad i made it to this age.
I gripe about not being able to do this or that for my celebration, yet when suggestions come my way, i've already marked it as 'been there, done that, can open gift shop for the souvenirs i've collected'. :P
I get sms/calls/FB msgs from a whole bunch of people, yet feel disappointed with the one who didn't.
I'm proud of what i've achieved thus far, yet discontented when i think of others my age who've made it further.
The list goes on... and i often wonder why i struggle with this half-full half-empty syndrome. I always hope and think others deserve the best, and if i can, will make sure that they do. But when good things happen to me, after the initial elation.. i will get panic attacks. It's always the fear of 'Is this really happening? Was there a mistake?' and 'How long will this last before it gets taken away from me?'.
As i thought about this further, the one word that kept coming to mind is 'IMPERFECT'. Perhaps i have become my own prophet of doom. Setting ideals which seem unattainable. Frustrating myself when i don't reach it. Always thinking i'm 'just not good enough'.
AGAIN, i need a reminder to cut myself some slack. That it's (more often than not) ok when things don't turn out exactly the way i want/presume it to be. That this claustrophobic feeling i get is because i have been trying too hard to hold everything together. I need to let go and give myself room to breathe a little easier.
So while i sit here, mind orbiting into some strange galaxy (No.. not going bonkers.. yet. :P), it's becoming a little clearer now. Perhaps 'space' is what i need. Then maybe 'IMPERFECT' will slowly become 'I'M PERFECT'. ;D
Hmm... maybe being a year older has made me a little 'wiser' after all. Hahaha...
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Ding dong belle
After weeks of being called 'Miss 27 Dresses' by my colleagues & friends, my cousin's wedding has come and gone. It hadn't been easy though. There were countless times when i wanted to just give up and not bother about it.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that i didn't want to help but I was already stretched. With everything else (business-wise) slowing down, we had to worked doubly, if not triply hard to keep the clients. Overlapping projects, long hours, work frustrations, looming deadlines, lack of sleep... add on the wedding coordination... it doesn't take much for misunderstandings to happen and tempers to flare. It was just 'bad' timing... everything demanded my immediate attention, everything seemed to be due 'yesterday'.
I know some felt i was getting the short end of the stick and i should've bailed out, especially on the wedding coordination. Tsing asked if i did all this because i think it's romantic - the wedding and all. Honestly? It never crossed my mind... all this romance/fairy-tale stuff. My focus was simple - it's her day and i want to do my best to support her. Guess it was the execution (of my intentions) that was difficult. :)
As i did my best to be there for her, once again i have been encouraged by different ones who stood by me too. Despite occasional protests of what 'damage' i was doing to myself, i'm thankful that FQ, Csu & Siryn has kept me sane thus far.... or is it keeping me 'insane' ?? Hehehehe.. Tsing cracked me up with his offer of good lawyers in case of manslaughter. :P Others took turns calling/sms-ing to check if i'm still alive. Hahaha....
I guess it's always nice to know there's someone.. or in my case, many who's there for me... even though at times, i didn't know where i was. :P
Hugs to everyone for putting up with neurotic me!!
Don't get me wrong. It's not that i didn't want to help but I was already stretched. With everything else (business-wise) slowing down, we had to worked doubly, if not triply hard to keep the clients. Overlapping projects, long hours, work frustrations, looming deadlines, lack of sleep... add on the wedding coordination... it doesn't take much for misunderstandings to happen and tempers to flare. It was just 'bad' timing... everything demanded my immediate attention, everything seemed to be due 'yesterday'.
I know some felt i was getting the short end of the stick and i should've bailed out, especially on the wedding coordination. Tsing asked if i did all this because i think it's romantic - the wedding and all. Honestly? It never crossed my mind... all this romance/fairy-tale stuff. My focus was simple - it's her day and i want to do my best to support her. Guess it was the execution (of my intentions) that was difficult. :)
As i did my best to be there for her, once again i have been encouraged by different ones who stood by me too. Despite occasional protests of what 'damage' i was doing to myself, i'm thankful that FQ, Csu & Siryn has kept me sane thus far.... or is it keeping me 'insane' ?? Hehehehe.. Tsing cracked me up with his offer of good lawyers in case of manslaughter. :P Others took turns calling/sms-ing to check if i'm still alive. Hahaha....
I guess it's always nice to know there's someone.. or in my case, many who's there for me... even though at times, i didn't know where i was. :P
Hugs to everyone for putting up with neurotic me!!
Monday, 30 June 2008
A new release
I started an extremely looooooong post and ranted to thy kingdom come. Then i came across this on PostSecret. When i clicked on it, the filename showed Figureitoutyourself.
It was easy to read what's on the card but difficult to acknowledge that that's my 'problem'. So now that i've figured it out, the earlier post seemed redundant. Perhaps this is a start to better things.
FQ, i hope it will be the same for you too. *hugs*
It was easy to read what's on the card but difficult to acknowledge that that's my 'problem'. So now that i've figured it out, the earlier post seemed redundant. Perhaps this is a start to better things.
FQ, i hope it will be the same for you too. *hugs*
Friday, 30 May 2008
A little bubbly
It has always been a running joke among my friends that i am high-maintenance. Moi?!? High-maintenance?!? You must be joking. Hehehe...
So to prove that their point, they decided to take a quick calculation on what i was wearing/carrying the other day. Laptop + handbag + camera + ipod + clothes = enough to feed a family of 5 for a whole year. And with that, they concluded that no man will be able to 'afford' me. *groan*
Weiiiiiiii!!! That's not fair. I PAID for all those things myself.... with my own money. And those things were bought over a period of time. AND i eat 'chap fun' like everyone else. *ok Tsing, if u're reading this part, stop laughing.
Ok, so what if i indulge in my fav coffee once in a while or dine at a cafe instead of a roadside stall? Dayum.. someone just said this to me "You have an inclination to champagne but only earn enough to pay for dishwater".
Sheesh.... so fine.... both hv bubbles in them. Nothing wrong with preferring the sparkly right? *hic*
So to prove that their point, they decided to take a quick calculation on what i was wearing/carrying the other day. Laptop + handbag + camera + ipod + clothes = enough to feed a family of 5 for a whole year. And with that, they concluded that no man will be able to 'afford' me. *groan*
Weiiiiiiii!!! That's not fair. I PAID for all those things myself.... with my own money. And those things were bought over a period of time. AND i eat 'chap fun' like everyone else. *ok Tsing, if u're reading this part, stop laughing.
Ok, so what if i indulge in my fav coffee once in a while or dine at a cafe instead of a roadside stall? Dayum.. someone just said this to me "You have an inclination to champagne but only earn enough to pay for dishwater".
Sheesh.... so fine.... both hv bubbles in them. Nothing wrong with preferring the sparkly right? *hic*
Saturday, 19 April 2008
The driving factor
A while ago, i allowed someone else to take the wheel. Thinking that maybe.. just maybe... i can learn to 'sit back' and see a different view. But somehow, by allowing myself to 'trust without question', i found myself stranded by the wayside. To realize how far i've been steered off course. To think that THAT was the way i wanted to go when the roadsigns along the way pointed otherwise. And harder still to find my way back. How foolish i was to think there would be roses when all i got was thorns.
I am back on this road called 'life'. But instead of embracing it like a familiar friend, i have been beating myself up for taking a wrong turn. Trying hard to make up the 'lost time' , i charged full speed ahead. Everything else became a blur as i raced on at breakneck speed. Thinking that if i moved faster, everything will be rosy again.
And in doing so, i have (once again) lost sight of what's important. In my impatience, i have been frustrated when i don't see immediate results. I have forgotten that it's the journey, not so much the destination, that matters. That it's also the pit stops along the way that recharges me.
Now, i find myself running on empty. I'm not lost....but i don't know where i am also.
I am back on this road called 'life'. But instead of embracing it like a familiar friend, i have been beating myself up for taking a wrong turn. Trying hard to make up the 'lost time' , i charged full speed ahead. Everything else became a blur as i raced on at breakneck speed. Thinking that if i moved faster, everything will be rosy again.
And in doing so, i have (once again) lost sight of what's important. In my impatience, i have been frustrated when i don't see immediate results. I have forgotten that it's the journey, not so much the destination, that matters. That it's also the pit stops along the way that recharges me.
Now, i find myself running on empty. I'm not lost....but i don't know where i am also.
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation
Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal™:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.
~Author Unknown~
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal™:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.
~Author Unknown~
Saturday, 9 February 2008
Friendly faces, familiar places
Took a couple days off work this week in lieu of Chinese New Year. Combined with the public holidays, i have 9 days to do absolutely nothing except eat, hibernate and grow 'prosperous'. Hahahaha...
Had the opportunity to meet up with some of my high school friends, one of whom i've not seen for about 15 years. Used to be very good friends with Shaan but since leaving school, with us moving states/countries, we just 'lost' each other till recently. :D So happy to have found each other again and had soooooo much to catch up on.
We also managed to meet up with some of the guys from our primary school. Gosh.. that was an even longer absence. 20 years!! Was a bit scary at first.. the thought of seeing them again after so long. Not that they've grown an extra nose or anything. But we weren't really close to them or for some, even 'in the same league'. So when we agreed to meet for coffee... Shaan & i kinda had a 'freaked ugly duckling syndrome moment'. :P
But it turned out well.... we laughed about the way we used to be, we talked about our present lives and before you knew it, hours had passed. Ice melted, coffee drunk and zero casualties. Not bad...not bad after all. ;D
Had the opportunity to meet up with some of my high school friends, one of whom i've not seen for about 15 years. Used to be very good friends with Shaan but since leaving school, with us moving states/countries, we just 'lost' each other till recently. :D So happy to have found each other again and had soooooo much to catch up on.
We also managed to meet up with some of the guys from our primary school. Gosh.. that was an even longer absence. 20 years!! Was a bit scary at first.. the thought of seeing them again after so long. Not that they've grown an extra nose or anything. But we weren't really close to them or for some, even 'in the same league'. So when we agreed to meet for coffee... Shaan & i kinda had a 'freaked ugly duckling syndrome moment'. :P
But it turned out well.... we laughed about the way we used to be, we talked about our present lives and before you knew it, hours had passed. Ice melted, coffee drunk and zero casualties. Not bad...not bad after all. ;D
Friday, 18 January 2008
A step at a time
Can't believe we're already 18 days into the new year. There were too many times when i started a post, only to abandon it because it became too depressing. 2007 hadn't been too good for me.. and i guess for a number of other people as well.
Things just came one after another. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse... it did. Disappointments, let-downs, broken promises, misunderstandings, betrayals.... it made me wonder if there was any integrity left in people.
Yet again, i say this... i am soooooooo fortunate to have good friends beside me. Csu has been very supportive of me. Even though she may not always understand what i'm going through, yet she tried. And i saw the true measure of friendship when i called Siryn & FQ in the middle of the night (after a heart-breaking incident) and burst into tears. I just lost it then but they were my pillars of strength. To assure me things are gonna be ok. Even Tsing (whom i've lost touch with for decades), when he heard about it, called and showed me concern which i never expected. These friends kept me company.... on the phone, online and via webcam throughout the night as i sobbed my heart out. :)
And i am so thankful that Siryn took the time to go Singapore with me over the New Year weekend. I didn't have to say it, but she knew i didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. Her presence made a whole lot of difference as we met up with friends and went shopping. And boy, did we SHOP!! One would think that our country is deprived of footwear from the number of shoes we bought from Charles & Keith. :P
FQ, Siryn & Csu have, through their friendship, assured me that i am never alone. And Tsing, in his blunt truthful way, has reminded me that i have not 'failed'. These friends have taught me to look at myself again and see the strength that lies within. The person who's spirit that isn't easily broken and who's not afraid to get up after a fall.
So.. with this new year.. here's looking to better things ahead. And since i'm going to step up and step out (once again), it doesn't hurt to do it with style... and with new shoes too!! ;D
Things just came one after another. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse... it did. Disappointments, let-downs, broken promises, misunderstandings, betrayals.... it made me wonder if there was any integrity left in people.
Yet again, i say this... i am soooooooo fortunate to have good friends beside me. Csu has been very supportive of me. Even though she may not always understand what i'm going through, yet she tried. And i saw the true measure of friendship when i called Siryn & FQ in the middle of the night (after a heart-breaking incident) and burst into tears. I just lost it then but they were my pillars of strength. To assure me things are gonna be ok. Even Tsing (whom i've lost touch with for decades), when he heard about it, called and showed me concern which i never expected. These friends kept me company.... on the phone, online and via webcam throughout the night as i sobbed my heart out. :)
And i am so thankful that Siryn took the time to go Singapore with me over the New Year weekend. I didn't have to say it, but she knew i didn't want to be alone with my thoughts. Her presence made a whole lot of difference as we met up with friends and went shopping. And boy, did we SHOP!! One would think that our country is deprived of footwear from the number of shoes we bought from Charles & Keith. :P
FQ, Siryn & Csu have, through their friendship, assured me that i am never alone. And Tsing, in his blunt truthful way, has reminded me that i have not 'failed'. These friends have taught me to look at myself again and see the strength that lies within. The person who's spirit that isn't easily broken and who's not afraid to get up after a fall.
So.. with this new year.. here's looking to better things ahead. And since i'm going to step up and step out (once again), it doesn't hurt to do it with style... and with new shoes too!! ;D
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