If there's one thing i don't understand.. it's humans. Once again, i've been pissed off by people and their attitudes. So while there are campaigns about Saving Our Earth... the only thing i've been doing is recycling complaints.
I've not been 'going green' but rather, blue in the face trying to hold my breath before i explode with annoyance. Perhaps the one thing i've done that is (to me) 'environmentally-friendly' is to not go berserk and lash out at 'innocent' ones who cross my short-circuited path.
I've been trying to reduce socializing with as many toxic people as possible so that i don't get sucked in to the same pessimism. Mind you, it's not as easy as it seems when you're perpetually surrounded by them. Sigh!
And if there's any phrase that i've been reusing, it's 'Let Go' - be it to myself or others. It's amazing how tightly we hold on to things which many a time, we don't even know what we're keeping it for.
Why are we so reluctant to give someone else a chance to prove their worth? Is there really a need to constantly assert your presence or make your voice louder? Are we afraid no one would notice or hear us? Perhaps we should spend more time focusing on building what we have than fearing what we don't.
Owww.. i think i need to find a shell to crawl under before i go nuts.
Thursday, 30 October 2008
Friday, 10 October 2008
Lost and Found
Lately, coffee shop talks with friends have been somewhat 'depressing'. Seems to me that different ones have been disappointed/jaded/unmotivated and yet, we cannot pinpoint what the cause of it is. When i look at the date of my last blogpost, it made me realize that several weeks have passed me by and i have no recollection of what i've done.
Whatever happened to those times when we're able to look back and laugh at memories/moments? Have we allowed ourselves to merely exist... going through the same routine day in, day out? Have we lost all zeal for life? Did we 'deliberately' put ourselves in this rut, then claim we are victims of circumstances?
Whatever happened to those times when we're able to look back and laugh at memories/moments? Have we allowed ourselves to merely exist... going through the same routine day in, day out? Have we lost all zeal for life? Did we 'deliberately' put ourselves in this rut, then claim we are victims of circumstances?
Monday, 25 August 2008
Ex, Why, Zzz...
Last Saturday, i went over to Gin's place. Lih was down with her 2 kids for a visit so we decided to get together and have a cookout. We've all known each other more than 2/3 our lives and were laughing at how 'domestic' we've become - discussing the best place to buy fresh ingredients, how to cook this dish or that, how things have gone up in prices. In short, being total 'AUNTIES'. Hehehe...
On the same day, Siryn was at an event with her friend and they were to meet up with some other people. When they did, one of them turned out to be the guy i recently dated. Apparently Siryn's friend's 'friend' is the girl whom he had dropped me for. Obviously the girl had no idea that Siryn knew him. So while i was having fun catching with my ex-classmates on one side of town, on the other, my ex was squirming away... and maybe made even worse, when after the event, Siryn's friends suggested having drinks together.
Siryn was a little unsure of telling me of the encounter at first but when she did, i couldn't help but burst out laughing. Even FQ found it hilarious. I told them that i've already stopped asking myself Why. Things have happened. We've chosen our paths and there's no reason to question it any further. It's amusing though, to hear Siryn describe his expression as "a rabbit caught in headlights" when he first saw her and how uncomfortable he looked whenever she glanced his way. Hehehe...
I don't know what went through his mind then. But one thing i know for sure... I don't have to look back at what could've beens or fear over decisions i've made. More importantly, i know i can sleep at night knowing i've moved on without regrets. ;)
On the same day, Siryn was at an event with her friend and they were to meet up with some other people. When they did, one of them turned out to be the guy i recently dated. Apparently Siryn's friend's 'friend' is the girl whom he had dropped me for. Obviously the girl had no idea that Siryn knew him. So while i was having fun catching with my ex-classmates on one side of town, on the other, my ex was squirming away... and maybe made even worse, when after the event, Siryn's friends suggested having drinks together.
Siryn was a little unsure of telling me of the encounter at first but when she did, i couldn't help but burst out laughing. Even FQ found it hilarious. I told them that i've already stopped asking myself Why. Things have happened. We've chosen our paths and there's no reason to question it any further. It's amusing though, to hear Siryn describe his expression as "a rabbit caught in headlights" when he first saw her and how uncomfortable he looked whenever she glanced his way. Hehehe...
I don't know what went through his mind then. But one thing i know for sure... I don't have to look back at what could've beens or fear over decisions i've made. More importantly, i know i can sleep at night knowing i've moved on without regrets. ;)
Sunday, 3 August 2008
When words fail...
Every day, i cringe when i hear/read bad English... but this one really cracks me up.
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
~~o~~
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
by Mark Twain
by Mark Twain
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
Spacing out
I have this weird love-hate relationship with birthdays... my own i mean. It's juz one of those things.
I dread the reminder of how 'old' i'm getting yet at the same time, glad i made it to this age.
I gripe about not being able to do this or that for my celebration, yet when suggestions come my way, i've already marked it as 'been there, done that, can open gift shop for the souvenirs i've collected'. :P
I get sms/calls/FB msgs from a whole bunch of people, yet feel disappointed with the one who didn't.
I'm proud of what i've achieved thus far, yet discontented when i think of others my age who've made it further.
The list goes on... and i often wonder why i struggle with this half-full half-empty syndrome. I always hope and think others deserve the best, and if i can, will make sure that they do. But when good things happen to me, after the initial elation.. i will get panic attacks. It's always the fear of 'Is this really happening? Was there a mistake?' and 'How long will this last before it gets taken away from me?'.
As i thought about this further, the one word that kept coming to mind is 'IMPERFECT'. Perhaps i have become my own prophet of doom. Setting ideals which seem unattainable. Frustrating myself when i don't reach it. Always thinking i'm 'just not good enough'.
AGAIN, i need a reminder to cut myself some slack. That it's (more often than not) ok when things don't turn out exactly the way i want/presume it to be. That this claustrophobic feeling i get is because i have been trying too hard to hold everything together. I need to let go and give myself room to breathe a little easier.
So while i sit here, mind orbiting into some strange galaxy (No.. not going bonkers.. yet. :P), it's becoming a little clearer now. Perhaps 'space' is what i need. Then maybe 'IMPERFECT' will slowly become 'I'M PERFECT'. ;D
Hmm... maybe being a year older has made me a little 'wiser' after all. Hahaha...
I dread the reminder of how 'old' i'm getting yet at the same time, glad i made it to this age.
I gripe about not being able to do this or that for my celebration, yet when suggestions come my way, i've already marked it as 'been there, done that, can open gift shop for the souvenirs i've collected'. :P
I get sms/calls/FB msgs from a whole bunch of people, yet feel disappointed with the one who didn't.
I'm proud of what i've achieved thus far, yet discontented when i think of others my age who've made it further.
The list goes on... and i often wonder why i struggle with this half-full half-empty syndrome. I always hope and think others deserve the best, and if i can, will make sure that they do. But when good things happen to me, after the initial elation.. i will get panic attacks. It's always the fear of 'Is this really happening? Was there a mistake?' and 'How long will this last before it gets taken away from me?'.
As i thought about this further, the one word that kept coming to mind is 'IMPERFECT'. Perhaps i have become my own prophet of doom. Setting ideals which seem unattainable. Frustrating myself when i don't reach it. Always thinking i'm 'just not good enough'.
AGAIN, i need a reminder to cut myself some slack. That it's (more often than not) ok when things don't turn out exactly the way i want/presume it to be. That this claustrophobic feeling i get is because i have been trying too hard to hold everything together. I need to let go and give myself room to breathe a little easier.
So while i sit here, mind orbiting into some strange galaxy (No.. not going bonkers.. yet. :P), it's becoming a little clearer now. Perhaps 'space' is what i need. Then maybe 'IMPERFECT' will slowly become 'I'M PERFECT'. ;D
Hmm... maybe being a year older has made me a little 'wiser' after all. Hahaha...
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